Sunday, June 10, 2007

Top ways to annoy people in the office

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 150%, dark, 17-inch paper, and 99 copies.

2. In the memo field of all of your checks, write "for sensual massage".

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".

5. Reply to everything someone says with, "that's what YOU think".

6. Practice making fax and modem noises.

7. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

8. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy".

9. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

10. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist to others that you "like it that way".

11. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

12. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

13. Ask people what gender they are.

14. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

15. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

16. Sing along at the opera.

17. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

18. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

19. Send this list to everyone in your e-mail address book even if they sent it to you or ask you not to send things like this.

Long time gone and I don't mean Dickie Betts.

I thought I would take a much needed break from the online world since I had the need to rest. I'm posting a photo and will try to catch up and write at least a post or so and get it out there for others to read within a day or so.

I've had a lot going on and while I have had the time I simply haven't had the um mph to actually think of anything I might want to write or talk about. Still, I have missed blogging.

There is something to be said for baring one's soul to anyone even slightly interested in reading about it so I suppose writing on a blog is therapeutic. More than that, its fun. Freedom of speech is a beautiful thing.

I am finally away from Texas (Colorado now) after many years of trying to figure out a way to move away from the place. Not my cup of tea with the excessive heat and such throughout most of the year. I like cooler temperatures. We haven't seen any real snow as yet but I know it's coming in winter. I can't wait. I haven't seen loads of snow since living in New York in the 80's.

While I do love the mountains and snow I love the beach equally as much. I can walk along in the sand for hours on end and entirely lost track of time. In fact my step sister and I did that once and ended up so far away we felt it necessary to hitch a ride back to our camp site.

Fortunately for our naive teen minds (not to mention everything else) it was a very nice Grandfatherly sort of fellow that happened to pick us up. However, rather than drop my step sister and I off where we had asked him, took us both directly to my Father and Stepmother.

Much to our acute irratation we were both grounded for two days over the incident. We didn't see anything wrong with getting a lift back even if it was from a complete stranger! Ahhh the ignorance of youth. Maybe that isn't the right word here. Oh well...

Anyway, I need mountains, snow and oceans and beach. So if anyone knows a place where I can get the best of both worlds - breathtaking mountains and beautiful beaches with perfect temperatures that don't scorch your bum when you sit on a park bench please do let me know where it is.

I keep thinking California might be like that but you have to be rich to live there and I happen to be otherwise. Ha! Hawaii? I have my suspicions that prices and cost of living are much the same there as in California or possibly worse.

I need beauty and decent cost of living. Is there such a place? The lines are open and no one needs a lift home. Still, it's great to be away from Texas and so far Colorado is a pretty place and it's good to be back on my bloggy.

My bloggy celebrates a birthday soon but that is another post.