Friday, January 14, 2005

The wheeled migration

I happened to see a short portion of "Winged Migration" this morning and it made me wonder about creating a documentary of my own.

They say you should write about things you know. Ok, fine. I was thinking something along he lines of, "Wheeled Migration". A full camera crew could follow an entire herd of cars down I-635 tracking their every move. Every turn could be examined in detail.

In a smooth, low voice you would hear, "The moronic woman in the small yellow car is just about to be smashed into tiny fragments. She has gotten in the path of the guy at the top of the petrol chain, "The Big Rig". She isn't gonna last long. It's a sad thing to watch, but it's nature's way."

We could move on to the more violent of the migrators, those being teens in cars. For simplicity, we'll refer to them as "TIC" from here on.

Here you have a TIC coming up on an elderly driver, known as "ED" - The result is nightmarish. The ED is nervously trying to escape the onslaught of the TIC but to no avail. The TIC runs closely behind the ED until the ED gives up and moves to the shoulder out of the way.

This is no place for the weak. The TIC thinking that it has a clear shot to the front of the line or the off ramp, moves past the ED. Seeing this the infuriated ED shakes a fist at the TIC as it flies past.

Snarling, the TIC moves on, swerves to the left, then the right, directly in the path of "The Big Rig" and is mashed into a thin layer on the migratory path.

Wow! More and more this is looking like a hit for 2005. I know I'm excited. We could put nice music with it as well. Hell, if we get enough sponsors maybe we could get somebody like Danny Elfman or Dean Whitbread to do some nice original music. That would boost the ratings with the critics eh?

If I plan to make a hit movie this year, I'd better stop blogging and get busy. This film could take as long as three or even four days to complete. I'll be adding a Paypal "donate" button later in the hopes of getting donations for the film.

*Note: This is what happens when I get all tanked up on California Navel Oranges first thing in the morning.


  • OK, this is just freaking hilarious. Thanks for making my morning. In return, I'm rating your blog a 10. :)

    By Blogger panthergirl, at 7:32 AM  

  • stick that button up and watch the money roll in.
    your onto a bleedin winner

    By Blogger al, at 7:40 AM  

  • This was a hilarious and great idea!!!
    You should get Sir David Attenburough to do the voice-over....that'd make it absolutely perfect !

    By Blogger mysteryman_15133, at 5:01 AM  

  • Brilliance, plain and simple.

    Aa a matter of fact, it's a terrific idea to pitch to a sketch-comedy show like "SNL" or "MadTV".

    If I were you, I'd give it some serious thought (especially now that so many other people have heard the idea)!

    By Blogger Cuppojoe, at 8:39 AM  

  • Okay, listen. If you ever do this, you HAVE to put some reference to this in it and I have to get credit! :) My sister didn't get her license until she was 21 (last year)but she still had the mentality of a young teen. Within 1 month of driving, her car had only 1 hubcap left! Why? you ask. Because she would park too close to the curb and turn too close to the curb that she knocked the dang things off! And dang it if she didn't have the radio just blaring as loud as she could, but she couldn't think to check the oil, so she almost ruined the engine! But the radio works, don't it?!
    Just a rant on stupid, young drivers. :)

    By Blogger Party Pascha, at 3:24 PM  

  • Sounds interesting - good luck in developing it further.

    By Blogger Ben, at 4:30 AM  

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