Sunday, April 17, 2005

The hell that Tax Season is.

Many blogs wonder at the curious absense of me, Kate was perhaps the most accurate that I was buried in the mounds of paperwork of a government job. Truth being told, what has happened is a government job with a cash strapped Department of Revenue.

The state of Missouri is in a financial crunch, and there's no good way out of it. In balancing the budgets even while tax season is on, people have been cut of jobs, the small luxuries of life stripped. All of this amounts in the long run to more work for any employee, but the computer people are on the recieving end of a sandpaper dildo right now. Computers purchased before the financial crisis must be deployed asap for political reasons, new projects/programs as well, with fewer people. Oh, and the nonsense that we call tax season is occurring, causing more people to need technical assistance than usual. All of this combined makes for a very interesting high pace high stress job. I'm actually happy in the job; I just don't have energy to do SQUAT after work.

Seriously, I don't. As I write this post, I'm wondering if I'll have energy to make it to the toilet to finally take that crap soon. Thankfully this laptop sits next to the bed, the energy that is being expended here is mental, and not much physical.

Now, for those of you wondering what tax season is like for the department of revenue, let me tell you: one half panic, one half a well oiled machine. It's something like a car driving down the road with it's wheels held on by nothing. Sure it'll keep moving, however you wonder when the speed bump will hit and everything will go to hell. People are putting tax returns into the system. The servers are staying mostly up and stable (surprisingly, knock on wood..) The paperwork generated by this is impressive. Consider a parking garage with room for about 100 cars in three rows. That is what our temporary file room is like, an endless row of file folders. It's sad, and awesome at the same time to behold. Should I have the chance, I hope to take a picture and perhaps post it here.

Goalie is still Goalie, folks. A ticking time bomb of mental obscenity, waiting to explode, to finally go from ember to cold and build up again. Currently I'm like a pressure cooker whose regulator has failed, I have no clue when I'll slip into stupidity as is predicted of my type. I'm pretty clear and clean right now, however a day of Monty Python impressions may soon be needed. The high stress fast paced job, coupled with family health problems certainly wears on one. Getting home and sleeping is good, however it does nothing to hold that stress back or push it down.

Stress brings its own turmoil to life. Physically, I find myself hornier than ever, a mental snapshot of my dreams would surely bring me millions in a publishing deal with Playboy, Penthouse, or some XXX institution of ill repute. My body finds itself slightly overweight, with an urge to exercise and to screw, but no energy to do either. And no lady.. several in mind, including one who reads my blog the few times I post (I dare you to find me saying that on my blog), but alas no balls to actually move on any of it. Better yet with one preparing to move out of my life, I find myself pondering growing a pair.. to tell her my thoughts, try to keep her from moving, or allowing her to persue her happiness. Figures that my intentions would create pure misery.. another type of stress yet. If you know of an eligible female in Missouri willing to meet up with lame ol me...

My brain is snide and cynical more so than ever on this stress, ready to make John Cleese proud, but as I said I'm waiting for the regulator to fail so I can do insanity some justice. I'm considering perhaps writing a post on the ethics of crapping in a corporate environment (and the rules that govern the stools). There's no way I can do that without a copious quantity of insanity and fart humor, what can I say. Seems perfect. The mental energy for that post has been much of what's holding me back.

So.. there's my semi-annual rundown of my life in as dry of terms as possible, save living in the sahara. Then I could make it dryer. Dry and witty? Naaa. Now for those card enthusiasts, before I forget, I have an Uno bot running in #uno on (The starchat irc network.) Please let me know of any features that are needed. And enjoy playing. Go visit it, say hi to me and all. That's one of the few projects I have that brings me joy right now (The other one I can't tell you about, it's secret. Maybe some day.)

PS- This Doctor Who thing... I never got into Doctor Who. However recently I rediscovered The Avengers, particularly the incarnations with Emma Peel. (Diana Rigg.) Damn. She's hot by today's standards, which says something. Not to mention the show's rather enjoyable anyway. Odd how the BBC America shows those shows. (Monarch of the Glen had a blonde hottie named Lorraine Pinkerton(?? I think that's right) that helped draw me into that show. Bring Archie back, however, damnit.)

So, now that I've wandered into wandering drivel with no point other than to evade a point, I'm going to end this post.


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