Sunday, May 22, 2005

Buick Titanic - Ships of the highway

Riding around in Dallas we had this absolutely enormous car pass us. It was one of those old Buicks - you know the ones that are actually more like ships of the highway? Like a 1974 Buick Titanic. Complete with several engineers in the back shoveling coal into the engine boilers.

Anyway, the car whooshed past us and as I saw the driver I thought the end of the car would soon come but to my astonishment it didn't. The car kept going and going and going. It was like watching a cruise liner glide past. I was actually looking out for anyone who might be playing shuffleboard on deck and thinking, "Wow, I'd like to take a cruise someday".

You could have an accident in one of those and it would take the police 2 hours just to figure out which deck of the car/ship you are in. I wonder if a band would stay on and play as the car went out of sight? Maybe one of those Beach Boys car songs. Little GTO or Little deuce Coupe? Little Red Corvette?

I've just been informed that a Corvette is also suppose to be some sort of ship. See? See??(...pointing my finger...) I'm not nearly as far off the mark as most people think I am. Ha!

And then there are the pirates of the highways. You might get one of those Buick Titanics with a skull and crossbones on it and another one coming over a hill. And the battle begins...

All the guys in both cars would be jumping out saying, "Avast ye highway swab dogs! Give us yer ship and ye may see thee marrow!" "Yarrr!" And "Yarrr, I'll be havin' that Beach Boy's cd too ye devil dog!"

Then the winning pirates take the ship back to their personal dock and strip it of it's best shiply goodies and give all the left over car/ship personnel the option to either be tied to a chair and forced to listen to Celine Dion or to make them walk along the high five in Dallas as punishment. Most of them would choose the high five.


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