Alfred Hitchcock and "The Birds".

Over the years I've often wondered how Alfred Hitchcock came up with the idea for his movie, "The Birds". Maybe he had a nightmare or maybe something else happened that gave him the idea. Personally I think he visited Texas and experienced the evil treachery of birds first hand and decided that it would make a great movie.

The treachery I am referring to are the winged demons that inhabit every available nook and cranny around North Dallas. It seems there are huge hordes of birds this year, more so than normal and besides making some of the residents very ill, they crap on absolutely everything. Nothing is sacred.

I think they fully understand and enjoy making pests of themselves. You can see them looking at each other as if to say, "Hey Carl! Watch me!" while dive bombing anyone foolish enough to wander innocently into the yard. Even Ginger the cat runs away in terror.

About a week ago, I saw him slinking along the patio after a bird. Slinking that is, until he got within viewing distance of the fifty or so birds that were all lined up on the fence watching him. The cat's ears perked up and he turned, looked at me with a distinct "Oh my god, help ME!" look, then escaped blasting past me at warp speed.

The birds also use the swimming pool as a giant birdbath and screech at us if we make any attempt to actually get into the pool. I briefly considered equipping the pool with a smallish alligator. While that thought had obvious appeal, the plan was quickly vetoed since it could make swimming a tad on the tricky side. Then there are the cars.

Sometimes the cars look as if they have custom paint jobs. You end up with solid color cars with paint splattered all over them. People pay big bucks for those kind of paint jobs. But of course what we get isn't paint. It's bird crap deliberately deposited by the tweeting, feathered cretins just to irritate me. I regularly try to squirt them with the garden hose so I know they watch me and want to get even.

Now you may be thinking that I'm being unreasonable or unfair to the birds but in reality, they only have themselves to blame. If they would just fly next door and use my neighbors pool and crap on his Lexus, I wouldn't have any problems with them at all. But they don't. They do all that at my house. This is why I think the birds have it in for me after all the hosing incidents.

I suppose I should give them a break and maybe the car (and everything else) will be crap-free sometime in the near future.